Monday, April 18, 2016

Toxic People and the Ego

We all have attached to us an entity that we must overcome. Some suffer from it more than others and others are able to control it or even miraculously succeed in getting rid of it completely. That entity is the ego.

We all come across people who think highly of themselves and expect others to do the same. These people aren't to be confused with confident people who express their securities about themselves in healthy ways, but those people who feed off praises, of being looked up to, controlling others via manipulation, putting others down to look and feel better about themselves, the list goes on.

Those who allow their egos to take over their lives and their very being have a disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They drain those who come into their presence with their remarks and behaviors. Some may take the aggressive route with their victims while others are more passive aggressive, wanting to look nice and play the victim role to attract sympathy and care. Such behaviors include but certainly are not limited to: making "jokes" that demean or attack others, belittling others, speaking bad of their victims to others if they've made the narcissist angry so the narcissist can have more people against the victim, gas-lighting; meaning twisting information or even presenting false information to make the person/victim doubt their own memory- it is also used to have the person possessed by the ego look good or cool- dismissing others abruptly if they feel they're not worth their time without a moments notice, and many other tactics that can suck a person's energy away. Many of these behaviors tend to occur in front of others, so the narcissist has an audience to perform in front of to look powerful and gain attention.

People taken over by the ego are people that come in all positions of life, whether they are a boss, friend, family member, acquaintance, etc. It sometimes is challenging to recognize this abuse occuring especially if one has been raised by or with people who suffer from this condition, as one may feel it's normal or believe because they love the person and vice versa it's acceptable. Abuse is not acceptable, in order to live a peaceful, positive life, people who drain or make one feel bad, even if it's mixed with good moments, must be removed from one's life. For a number of people I know it's easier said than done. The ultimate goal is to not have these egomaniacs weigh one down, a good start is limiting time spent around them or recognizing when their ego is on the attack.

 What's interesting about those possessed with the ego is they are the most insecure people to ever encounter. They use the ego as a defense mechanism to avoid others from seeing them for who they really are: scared, defenseless children wanting love and protection. Remember that the next time you come in contact with these types, it makes them way less threatening than they attempt to appear. ♡